A Boundary Needs No Reason

A boundary needs no reason. My most accurate intuition comes from a felt sense. When I try to reason its meaning, I am always leaving out part of it. Intuition is so divinely nuanced that the metaphor of language narrows its truth. The problem with this around boundaries is that can create confusion and therefore porous boundaries.

That said, when someone receives a boundary, an accurate explanation can help the receiver understand it better. This is not my responsibility – I want those close to me to respect boundaries inherently. But if I can relate my need in generic or sensory terms that leave little room for rebuttal or “problem solving”, it can potentially ease tension.

Setting boundaries is an art, and an expression of love. Unless you are filing a restraining order (even so), boundaries create new context for peaceful relationship. Sometimes the terms offer less connection than one party wants, but connection is most peaceful when both parties meet in their fullness.

If you experience challenge expressing boundaries, there may be several realms to explore: trust in your intuition, effective communication, self-leadership, self-love, caretaking, fear of abandonment, codependence…

Since these realms are often relational, practicing in relationship helps. In my circling coaching practice, clients can presence various realms and I stay with you as an ally, offering sensory reflection, relational feedback and support. I also have my own experience healing important relationships through healthy boundaries that offers light.

Life is so much more peaceful with peaceful relationships. 😊